Tuesday, October 14, 2008

YEAH! They...um...showed that guy....yeah.....

Of Yahoo's headlines, one in particular stands out:

U.S. to pour $250 billion into ailing banks
Candidates' new economic proposals reveal different strategies
U.N. reactivates cameras at North Korea nuclear complex

L.A. wildfires force thousands to evacuate

Ohio executes inmate who said he was too obese for injection
Study: Internet searching boosts brain activity for older adults
Woman undergoes controversial surgery for dwarfism


*I've highlighted it in case you missed it*

Yes, lets celebrate success,he was a terrible man, but we sure showed that fucker we could kill him....

Just noticing is all.


There is an alternative to death in prison, though some may see it as cruel....it's not one most people would think of....just see above.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Some Who Break the News Deserve to be Broken


Obama's constant barrage of "treasonous ties" and big news reports (like the one to the left not too long ago) is getting ridiculous. From the William Ayers story (which has been clarified to show their true relationship, meaning TWO PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO BE ON THE SAME PHILANTHROPIC FOUNDATION). But, anyways.

Obama Crimes is continuing on their "swing until we hit something" campaign and continues to speculate on Barack Obama's birth certificate. Now, here's the best part, this is their damning evidence...


I'd like to point out THE most important statement that FactCheck made, and that still exists, in their "Born in the USA" story:

You can click on the photos to get full-size versions, which haven't been edited in any way, except that some have been rotated 90 degrees for viewing purposes.

On the basis of this statement alone, FactCheck has just shot themselves right in the head. This is not an "inconsistently" in their story, but a death blow to it.


Wait, rotating the picture for viewing purposes is "editing" the photo, but their attempt at semantic argumentation is misleading, and in general, about as effective as flailing wildly against a wall in getting your point across.

Also, anyone who ends their name in Esquire, in addition to ending their completely failed attempts at breaking a story with the line

Your Honor, the Prosecution has just begun to rest its case.






Asshole doesnt even begin to describe you....

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I Can Has Master Debate Now?

The town hall debate. A wonderful tradition really, and a simple one at that. Ask the question, get your question answered. And while Tom Brokaw repeating the phrase "Here's a question from the internet" is the funniest out of context remark about the superhighway since "It's a series of tubes", he proved to be an excellent moderator, thankfully shutting both candidates up when that little stoplight in front of them blinked incessantly (might I suggest an Oscar style playoff for the next debate?). Obama won. Sorry for those on either side of the fence who saw it any differently, but McCain continuously repeat the same myths that have been blown out of the sky, even by his own campaign team. There have been enough polls shoved at the American people to make everyone feel like they've greased a real one and have left you sore until November, but the fact that most have been supplemented by user comments has allowed a glimpse into just how weird the reactions may be.

Take this comment on Fox News' YOU DECIDE reaction to the second debate:

Comment by Gertrud

I think it was a draw. While Obama was clearly more articulate, he kept violating the rules of debate, which shows disrespect not only to the host and the opponent, but also to the rules he signed off on.

McCain was inarticulate, almost begging people to sign on with him. The sound of his voice was what I associate with imploring. Also, his choice of words, “let’s do bla, bla, let’s get whatever” clearly showed that he didn’t have much knowledge about domestic issues, such as education and health care. There was a marked change in his demeanor and speech when the discussion turned to international affairs and the war in Iraq. Clearly, McCain is much more comfortable in these areas.

McCain should have kept his cool and focused more on the issues, rather than repeating the same debunked “facts” about Obama over and over.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Obama, I won’t vote for Obama, but Obama clearly performed better - which does not mean that he will be a better president.

I'm just wondering, how does a debate over the issues, and a variety of them at that, leave the "winner" as the weaker candidate for president? Just a thought.


Also served up by Fox News is somehting truly nuts. You ever wander the halls of your local state university and see a step group? It's excellent, save for the whole Stomp the Yard deal that was just an oversimplification, and an overall shit movie. Now, a videos been running around the internet of middle school kids stomping for Obama. Nice community involvement right? So I though, until I noticed these kids were chanting in military fatigues at the same time. On our tax dollars. As much as I appreciate any support for Obama, this reeks of a quick step away from a mash up of Fascist allegiance without a complete understanding (they're in middle school for fuck's sake!) and the oh so universal and timless appeal of the so-called Communist regimes of the world and their military fatigues and Facist sharing blind faith.

Check out the video

Oh, and here's your What the Fuck? moment of the day (again, FOX NEWS comment board):

Comment by Sonny Buck
October 8th, 2008 at 8:59 am

He wasnt’t participating because obama owes his allegience to others… if he wins we’ll find out who they are. But you can be sure they are part of his racial radical and terrorist ties. I bet that lapel pin feel like kryptonite to him.


...oh, you mean these racial ties Sonny Boy?


Hmm....and it makes me wonder....

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Are They Now?

Continuing with my internet headline cruising, a small snapshot was offered tonite. A small look into just how much of an understatement you really can make...

From the Yahoo! homepage headlines:

Activists chant slogans behind a burning U.S. flag during a rally to condemn the U.S. missile strikes in Pakistani tribal areas. (AP)

Taliban unusually angry

Officials think they see signs that an apparent U.S. missile strike killed a senior militant. » Harsh language


Are they really now? Jesus I hadn't realized it.

I have only a blank stare and the overwhelming urge to throw a maglight at the writer of that headline.

We're Really Trying


Sect. of State Rice said the US is "trying not to undermine Russia". Just as we've tried in the past not to undermine Middle Eastern politics. Just as we had nothing to do with Pinochet in Chile. Just as we have never supplied weapons to the very countries we have ended up labeling "the enemy". Just as we have not fucked up the past, we're really trying our best here to hold back.

We're trying like that third grader who failed his math test. Really, really hard.

Monday, September 29, 2008

For Everyone Who Needs Something Free to Look Forward To


Hey. Listen.

The bad news? Well, if I have to answer for you, I will. The economy. If you're not pissed, you haven't been paying attention. Simple.

The good news? A host of Radiohead projects, all free!

Amplove offers up some previously contested remixes for your enjoyment.

http://www.onesevensevensix.com/amplive/index.html


Also, you or anyone you know have until October 23rd to get in on the latestRadiohead remix project, this time around for "Reckoner".

radioheadremix.com


Cheers.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Oh the Places You'll Go! Oh the Pre-Emptive Broadcasts You'll See!








Epic incompetence in regards to China's policies and actions in almost anything the government has its hands in [read: everything] is nothing new. I write this post underneath the all seeing web of Cisco Clean Agent, which is also the preferred medium in China's war on cyberdissidents. BUT I DIGRESS. China jumps the gun once again, points to them this time for just how funny this is.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,293
3,428262,00.html

Ah, the pre-written banter. It's a beautiful thing to behold.

I have found an image of the mistake however, it seems the Chinese computer keyboards hold one major difference between ours. This could very well be the one button that undoes the entire economy as well. Fair warning, if you intend to keep your computer files safe, your institutions at rest, DO NOT BUY CHINESE KEYBOARDS.







*Courtesy of
Jimminy Cricket
King of all Intertubes
Image url:
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb19/youdumbcat/EpicFail02.jpg

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

This Just In. Disappointment Continues for the Stupid.


What I learned a long time ago, which has been reinforced this week:

David Blaine is not a magician.

People's "outrage" over his stunt is almost nonexistent. Yet Fox News deems this newsworthy. I'm not even including the link out of contempt.

Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian. Amidst the crises (plural, and don't you forget it), this is about as pleasant as listening to a lecture on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Or watching the news in general.

In real news...

Obama has gained ground on the heels of news that McCain's campaign manager was on contract with Fannie May and other banks to fight regulations. This has been going on for 5 years. 5 Fucking years. Some say it was inevitable. I agree to a certain extent. While the economy, like politics or anything else in life, is an ebb and flow, requiring input and dominance (to a certain extent) from one side for a period of time. The current administration has wielded its turn with the grace of an epilleptic at a Pink Floyd show. Now its up for people to decide if they're fed up with it. And the slow sad realization that the race had been dead even (not at press time, but things change) at any point is reason enough to beleive that yes, some people are just that easy to fool.


Again, I'm holding out for the treadmills (see the first post)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Finding Meaning. A Social Experiment.


Just how many ways can you misconstrue a name? I didn't think there would be any possibilities that would throw me for a loop, but Urban Dictionary, the tricky anonymous fuckers that be, have some posts that let me discover things about myself, such as what Nelsoning is, or what a Nelsonism is. Check it out for yourself. My only request, post any funky words or definitons with your name in it in the comments.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nelsoning

Happy hunt.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

So Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Cindy McCain Walk Into a Bar...


Selective reading allows the news to be way more fun than it normally is.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,423261,00.html

Cindy McCain Blasts the View

NOW STOP RIGHT THERE! DONT KEEP READING!

Perfect, the mental image of Cindy McCain beating the hell out of the View hostesses is hysterical. Then we'll let Sarah Palin strut around in the background with her fucking Tina Fey glasses. On that day, America, we would truly find harmony, as Democrats and Republicans, Libertarians and Rastafarians alike all hold hands and surround the warm glow of the television showing us the end of the View as we dance around in the debris of Ike and the shredded books being thrown around in New York in the ticker tape parade of the ages! Children released from school in the mass celebrations that would make the Hitler Youth blush would set fireworks off from their bookbags and throwing them into bank lobbies and supermarkets alike! Everyone pours into the streets, unawares, until we recieve word the View is dead. People collapse in heaps, some proceeding to piss themselves in unadulterated exaltation to the good lord above. Jacob McCarthy awakens from his coma and proceeds to utter his last words before rolling himself down the corridor of adoring fans cheering him on. "The Lord does exist. Hapanesinnachiu", he says rolling along util the ramp comes into view. He flies off making a flawless swan dive into a Jackson Pollock. Points for creativity as the wheelchair landed on Jerry Falwell's ghost. The joy continues to build until we all return home to await the continuation the next morning in the glow of a post-View world.

On that day America, we will truly be one. One country, under a force, indivisible, with a severe lack of the View for all.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Spreading the Love


A friend of mine recently started up a blog. Least I could do, for the nonexistent people who may or may not be reading is give a shout, or a "boost".

Cheers.

anahaydee.blogspot.com

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Crocs. More dangerous than Capri Sun in a microwave.




Crocs, the darlings of pregnant women who can no longer match socks, wayward fashonistas, and the potentially blind have built quite a reputation for quality assurance.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,419962,00.html


People of the world! There is only once way to stop the rubber menace! When you see a family, decked out for their Sunday jaunt crossing paths with you, grab the nearest parent and shake them until they can no longer muster coherence. Proceed to remove both shoes and beat them with both shoes, equally, seeing as we are trying to get a balanced message across. Turn to their children, suggest they go right across the street and take a look at some new shoes. Turn on your heel and feel a new spring in your step as you leave the sidewalk, you've just done a public service! Don't you feel great now? Good, because you're going to need that extra spring in your step, the off duty cop is gunning for you now, you may want to take off and lay low for a while.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

CNN IS RACIST. THAT IS ALL

They're really not. But the juxtaposition of these two stories (it is now 9:51 am) leads me to think otherwise. Or I'm just reading way to far into it. It's one of the two but I'll go with the sensationalist headlines.


That is all.

Monday, September 8, 2008

SOCOM, Apparently Doing What...it...needs to do?

Interesting piece from the Washington Post today on the drop in violence in our "War on an Impossible Ideology"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/07/AR2008090701847.html?hpid%3Dtopnews&sub=new

In essence for those of us who gloss over blog posts from student journalists, because we all have a life to attend to, our government has essentially begun to get its shit together in its operations.

Wow.

A government agency and those in charge actually checking their facts and doing what they set out to do. It almost gives me the warm and fuzzies. Almost, seeing as the act needed to be organized oh, say, about 5 years ago?



Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Sarah Palin

Here it comes, a comment on the dearest of new media darlings and harlots, Sarah Palin. She seems like a decent person, a champion of her home state, and an all around badass. There's just a few things that nag at me. From supporting the "Bridge to Nowhere" project, where she took a page from the Hillary "I voted against it afterwards" Clinton, to running a campaign rooted in family values while her daughter becomes pregnant by some backwards assed moron who exists only as a myspace page and a dumb shot of him in a hockey uniform, Palin seems to be the one with little experience in this campaign. She has even said, and this is no misquote, "I don't know exactly what the vice president's job is". That. Is. A. Fucking. Issue. Need any more reason to question her, just as vehemently as Barack Obama has through the past months? Check out this beauty of a list complied over at alternet.org

http://www.alternet.org/election08/97350/8_more_shocking_revelations_about_sarah_palin/

And remember, God Bless America. We're gonna need something to cling to.


Like the song says, here we go again. Except we're trading in hooks and treadmills for ad nauseum news coverage and conventions.

I'll take the fucking treadmills.